Music fading even further away...

"It all comes back to God. Being in the praise team that I am in right now, it seems so clear. Everything about this life that we live is temporary, but the only escape from being let down by putting effort into these temporary things is putting the effort into things that have eternal value. There's lots more satisfaction to be found there, and it doesn't get tiring. Ask the missionaries who have been on the field for 60 years. I did, and they wished that they had started sooner."

--X posted from my friend's blog. a comment I left.

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Tonight was practice for the praise team. We started off playing That's Why We Praise Him, which went off like we practiced it a week or so ago, which is quite well. Then, we played Heart of Worship. I couldn't really focus on the song. No matter what I did, I ended up just staring at the chords and really doing nothing else. It was registering in my head, and I could have played it, but I felt like God was leading me to not play the guitar for the next couple of songs....if that makes much sense. To me it felt like I needed to get more into the song and what it was trying to say, and I was having difficulty keeping up with everyone else because I was so distracted by the meaning of the song. So......I unplugged and just started singing. That song, and then Here I Am to Worship, and then This Is the Air I Breathe. To me, all three of those songs are so heavy on my heart right now that there is no real way that I could focus enough while playing guitar.

Not only is it that, I sort of feel like there are a lot of things that are in my life that should not be there. They are holding my relationship with God back, and I have decided that the best way to take care of those is to set aside some time with just me and God and the Bible, and maybe even a guitar. Just some personal time so that He can show me what is in the way. What is it that is preventing me from worshipping Him with no other distraction?

It's alot of food for thought, and if tomorrow is anything like today was I will be thinking about it nonstop.


These are the lyrics that resound in my head:

Light of the world, You stepped down into darkness.
Opened my eyes let me see.
Beauty that made this heart adore you, hope of a life spent with You.

King of all days,
Oh so highly exalted, Glorius in heaven above.
Humbly you came to the earth you created,
All for love's sake became poor.

And here i am to worship,
here i am to bow down,
here i am to say that you're my God,
you're altogether Lovely,
altogether Worthy,
altogether Wonderful to me.

I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross.
I'll never know how much it cost to see mt sin upon that cross.
And i'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross.
No i'll never know how much it cost to se my sin upon that cross.

So here i am to worship.....

Back to the Heart

While I am here in North Carolina for the summer, I have been blessed with the opportunity to be on a praise music team for a local church. Just being able to spend time with these people has opened my eyes to a lot more than I thought it would.

I have been in 2 church services so far in this church. The atmosphere is very non-traditional. Loud music with electric guitars, drums, no hymnals, different modern translations of the Bible...etc... Being on the praise team we have really decided as of tonight that we need to take a step back and rethink the approach. We need to get back to the heart of worship. The services that I have been in did have good music, yes, but it didn't seem like anyone really got into it. It didn't seem like people were truly in their hearts praising God. That's what worship is all about anyway, taking time to meditate on the mercies of God through song. It's not about a well placed guitar riff, or a fast beat, or harmonized vocals. All of those things are nice, but it is so much more than that. It involves a lot of preparation and prayer and it involves a heartfelt desire to seek God's majesty. This coming Saturday we are going to make a few changes to the normal worship...so this coming week I expect to spend more time alone with God, seeking Him and letting Him use me for his music.

This makes me so happy! :) I am 100% glad that I can use my talents to lead people to praise God, there is nothing more fulfilling than that. My life is one huge shortcoming. I come short of the GLORY of God, just like everyone else. To myself though, it is painfully obvious every day. I lose more battles than I win. This is something that I can give back to God. It's small, but I want to bring something to Him. I want to give Him something in return for the purpose that He gave me.